Friday, March 26, 2010

The Rules

Are quite simple;
1) No bodily fluids.
2)No physical property damage.
3)No personal Injury. Or potential thereof.

I work with a bunch of nut cases. We enjoy work because we have fun at what we are doing, we enjoy working together and occasionally play pranks on each other to lighten the mood. The student workers get into the action every now and then as well.

So, "The Girl" (the only female student worker now) and "Patty Cakes" (we give our pet students pet names) have a running feud and it was her turn to get one on him. So, we kept him busy this morning while she worked on his car. At lunch.......he discovered the joke was on him. It certainly made the drive to lunch interesting as we made him drive.Yup, it says just married. Can't wait to see his response. Expect it to be soon and big. He's down by 2 at this point.

Rule number 4 is coming soon.... Must be done at work so we can all share in the joke!


To those people, my response is usually, “Splintered wood and mineral fragments may rupture my skeletal structure, but nomenclature does not impair me.”

That my friends is grade A extra large 1st class snark without even being snark.
If you're too stoopid to understand the snark, you don't need to get it.

Brought to you courtesy of AD. Go. Read. Like NOW!

Monday, March 22, 2010

Better to be quiet...

...and let people think you're a fool, then to open your mouth and prove it.

So one day last week, I was helping one of the grad students with a procedure, and we were chatting a bit. She mentioned that she likes Eddie Izzard. I agreed and mentioned a couple of his sets that I enjoy. Then she said that the reason she likes him is that he "rags on the NRA"... and she elaborated by quoting a few of his lines on the topic. I debated whether I should mention that I'm a life member, or just file the information away. I decided on the latter.

A couple days later, I was reading blogs at lunch and she came into my office... apparently just to chat. She looked at my computer screen and said, "The War on Guns ... is that a blog? Well, I don't want to interrupt your lunch..." and left.

Lesson learned, no confrontation. Couldn't have worked out better if I'd planned it.

Sunday, March 21, 2010


So, the first vote is in and passed. Looks like public rape has begun at the hands of the

May God have mercy on their souls.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Biometric ID Card

So, Chuckles Schumer and RINO not going to be mentioned here have introduced legislation to solve our work / illegal worker problems by mandating EVERY person eligible to work in the US carry a government issued biometric ID card.

I think this is a great idea. Think about it, many companies already issue ID cards with either swipe readers or butt scanners for access control in their facilities. So, just build that into the new cards and you don't have to have a separate card for work. Just one card gets you in. Since it has work information on it already, just put the entire work history on it along with education and when you go in for an interview, you just swipe your card and the potential employer gets your resume off the card. No more pesky applications to fill out.

And since you already have to carry it, just do away with Drivers Licenses, just one more little bit of data to encode on the smartchip in the card. Your entire driving record could be on it along with restrictions, previous violations and any endorsements for commercial drivers. Since they have to carry this card anyway since they are driving for work, it just eliminated another card they have to carry.

How many credit cards do you carry? Well, just make that another encoding on the smart card. Then when you check out all you have to do is tell teh store which card you want to put it on. Poof, more cards disappear from you wallet/purse/pocket.

What about FIOD/CCW/CHL whatever cards that are issued by your state for owning or carrying a firearm? Since the firearms ownership/carry database should be linked to the drivers license "for officer safety" that can just be another bit of information stored on the card. Poof another card goes away.

Since this is about "officer safety" in addition to putting the info on the card smartchip, there can just be another color. When you wear this card on a lanyard around your neck, (as should be required in public like it is in the more security conscious companies)the approaching officers can identify you from a distance by the color of your badge. So, "normal" people would have a blue background behind their picture. Maybe make green for minors so easy for bartenders to know if you can drink and shopkeepers to know if they can sell you cigarettes. Red means you have a FIOD/CCW/CHL, pink could mean you are a convicted sexual predator, Rainbow stripes would mean your gay (no more awkward moments), black means you've been convicted of DWI or had your drivers license suspended for some reason and we could even put big yellow stars on them for the Jews.

UPDATE: So, per comments, add a cross for Christians, a star and crescent for muslims, we already covered the Jews, a big circle for Atheists and maybe a square for Agnostics, pentagram for Satanists, a tree for Druids, a bush for Reformed Druids, a goat for Pagans..............

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Random Aircraft Sightings

As we were leaving for the day, pretty much the entire crew stopped to watch this rare bird stop in.
That would be a NP-3D "Billboard Orion" They were developed for the Naval Weapons Test Station operating near NAS Point Magu for relaying test information and control signals. Lately the info I have found points more towards operation around China Lake. Listed as a "very special variant" where I have been able to find anything about them.

Pretty cool to see it in our neck of the woods. Very Rare INDEED!

OK, So more research says the VX-30 "Bloodhounds" are the only operators and there are only two of these beasties in operation in the fleet. This one is likely the one that was just released a couple weeks ago by the Fleet Readiness Center Southeast in Jacksonville Florida back to VX-30. I'm betting they're on their way home and stopped in for dinner.

One More Reason

To never fly commercial again.

As if it isn't enough to have to put up with the TSA dog and Pony show. (I'd call them clowns but that would be an insult to clowns everywhere.)

And the charges for checked bags to go with tightened restrictions on carry-ons that you end up having to gate check anyway.

Now some maroon at the airlines figured out that people of average height and or stature desire to sit in the exit rows for teh few extra inches of legroom. Hard to fold that 6'+ frame into the ever shrinking seats in cattle car class.
So, in response to the extra demand for exit rows, ........wait for it.........., they are going to start charging a surcharge to sit in an exit row!

Yup, supply and demand at it's finest, very limited supply and high demand, we can charge for that and make more money! Screw customer service we can charge for this. Maybe we can use it as an incentive and wave or reduce the surcharge for platinum elite passengers.

Hell, they already stopped all but the most basic food and drink service and charge stupid "convenience" fees for a sacked sandwich and cookie. The TSA takes your bottle of water or can drinks away "for your safety" so you have to buy from the "secure" vendors who have a franchise with the airport.

Next thing they are going to charge a seatbelt surcharge. Or maybe a blanket and pillow surcharge. Oh Wait! They already charge for blanket and pillows on some flights now. Maybe charge for air conditioning or I know, pay toilets! That's the answer. That will even keep the terrorists form using the restrooms to setup their bombs, we set the bathrooms up so they only take good old fashioned American dollar bills. You know it will cost more than pocket change.