Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Hold the Pig Steady

In honor of Larry Correia and the published release of Monster Hunter International, with Larry's blessing, I am having a contest to write the words to "Hold the Pig Steady". Prizes to include, Eternal Glory and MHI Lore Fame. A group effort may work as people can feed off each others creative juices. So, run free in comments and let's have a good time with this. I have a band lined up to perform the song as well as composers for the music, just need words. Larry has final rights to approve the finished product so it needs to kick in the end.

ROCK ON!

EDIT TO UPDATE:
If you think the voices in your head are telling you to write something that might be inappropriate, send them to me directly. john at krtraining dot com and I will have a look. Anything in comments that IS inappropriate will get deleted.

UPDATED UPDATE:
see part DUEX for more on the inappropriate.

21 comments:

  1. I think the only part of the song that is written in the book is Skippy singing part of it, and keep in mind, he isn't the most clearly spoken 'person' you'll meet. So all that officially exists is: “Hold pig steady ... dum dum dum ... ra ra ra ... yeah. Pig. Pig! PIG!”

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  2. Where is Alice Cooper when you need him?

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  3. OK, here's my "Lord of the Flies"-inspired lyrics, mixed with some generic anti-establishment ranting.

    Verse 1:
    Hold the pig steady
    A head jammed on a stake
    The hunters want a god
    But nature makes a fake

    Terror lives in jungles
    Wrapped in coal-black flies
    And gnashes at our brains
    Behind our frightened eyes

    Chorus:
    Hold the pig steady
    Cut her throat!
    Spill the blood, yeah!
    Pig, pig, pig!

    Verse 2:
    Hold the pig steady
    A little greasy man
    He says he'll save the world
    If you follow his new plan.

    War-paint smeared on children
    Cities burn with rage
    And chaos grips the people
    Walking slowly to their cage.

    -----

    Anyone can feel free to cannibalize it for their own use

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  4. My Turn. I don't listen to metal, but my wife does. Maybe some of the exposure will help.

    This little piggy went to Market!
    And THIS!
    LITTLE PIGGY!
    WENT HOME!
    This,
    Little piggy!
    PLAYED!
    WITH!
    FIRE!
    NOW!
    HE’S GONNA!
    GET BURNED!

    (chorus)
    He squeals!
    HE SQUEALS!
    HOLD THE PIG STEADY!
    Now he finds out who’s in charge!
    HOLD THE PIG STEADY!
    Now he knows what going on!
    HOLD THE PIG STEADY!
    He’ll be lunch before to long!
    HOLD!
    THE PIG!
    STEADY!
    AH! AH! AH! AH! AH!

    This piggy made a house out of stone.
    And THOSE!
    LITTLE PIGGIES!
    WERE DUMB!
    Those,
    little piggies!
    TRIED!
    TO!
    FIGHT IT!
    BUT THE WOLF!
    IS AT!
    THEIR DOOR!

    (chorus)

    You little piggies watch out!
    For Those!
    LITTLE PIGGIES!
    DID NOT!
    If!
    You Want!
    TO PLAY!
    WITH!
    ME!
    YOU!
    ARE GONNA!
    (pause)
    SCREAM!

    You squeal!
    YOU SQUEAL!
    HOLD THE PIG STEADY!
    Now you find out who’s in charge!
    HOLD THE PIG STEADY!
    Now you knows what going on!
    HOLD THE PIG STEADY!
    You’ll be lunch before to long!
    HOLD!
    THE PIG!
    STEADY!

    HOLD THE PIG STEADY!
    DOWN! DOWN! DOWN!
    AH! AH! AH!
    PIG! PIG! PIG!
    HOLD THE PIG STEADY!
    DOWN! DOWN! DOWN!
    AH! AH! AH!
    PIG! PIG! PIG!
    HOLD!
    THE PIG!
    HOLD!
    THE PIG!
    HOLD!
    THE PIG!
    STEADY!

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  5. Don't know if Z's brother would ever be like this but thought I would take a stab at it.

    Standing alone in a crowd
    My eyes blinded by black flames
    All about me is HATE and PAIN
    Black hole sucking on my heart
    Pain is all I can ever got

    Slime and blood on the floor
    Stomping to see the spray
    Feelin the power in my hand
    Tastin the copper on my tongue
    Pain is all I can ever give

    Knives flash and flay
    Blood flyin in my eyes
    Hold the Pig Steady
    Squeal and scream
    Rarrrr Rarrr Rarrrr
    Yeah
    Pig
    Pig
    PIG
    Yeah
    Squeal and scream
    PIG
    PIG

    Black flames lickin up my arms
    Full eyes turned toward me
    Look away before I notice
    I see I see whats in em all
    Hate is all I've ever got

    Comin to me for answers
    I'll give the answer you seek
    Blood runnin into the cracks
    Addin to the slime it never ends
    Hate is all I can ever give

    Knives flash and flay
    Blood flyin in my eyes
    Hold the Pig Steady
    Squeal and scream
    Rarrrr Rarrr Rarrrr
    Yeah
    Pig
    Pig
    PIG
    Yeah
    Squeal and scream
    PIG
    PIG

    As above feel free to canabalize.

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  6. Hold the Pig Steady
    by Porter Glockwell

    Tread lightly in the paddy outside of Da Nang
    Pull my last Lucky and strike a flame
    Always get the shakes and I don’t know why
    Known death so long not afraid to die

    The claymores’ set and the lines are ready
    Lieutenant in a whisper… “Hold the Pig steady”
    Black heart beats so hard … gonna bust my chest
    Gonna send these f@%^ers to their final rest

    Hold the Pig steady! (automatic gunfire) Yeah!
    pig. Pig! PIG!
    Hold the Pig steady! (automatic gunfire) Yeah!
    pig. Pig! PIG!

    Twisted black shapes move slowly from the gloom
    Check my fields of fire to ensure there’s room
    Grip slick with sweat beneath my hand
    Belted .308 in a c-rat can

    Flare goes up… my trigger finger hammers down
    1 in 5 tracers as the Charlies hit the ground
    Claymores rain death and the frags blow holes
    My squad has empty mags and empty souls

    Hold the Pig steady! (automatic gunfire) Yeah!
    pig. Pig! PIG!
    Hold the Pig steady! (automatic gunfire) Yeah!
    pig. Pig! PIG!

    Jungle goes quiet, I reload my gun
    Ambush is murder and murder is fun.
    Wait for the signal… hold the pig tight
    Been dead for 40 years, but we rise each night

    … to fight

    Hold the Pig steady! (automatic gunfire) Yeah!
    pig. Pig! PIG!
    Hold the Pig steady! (automatic gunfire) Yeah!
    pig. Pig! PIG!

    Hold the Pig steady! (automatic gunfire) Yeah!
    pig. Pig! PIG!
    Hold the Pig steady! (automatic gunfire) Yeah!
    pig. Pig! PIG!

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  7. FWIW I like Ryan's version the most, I think something like that could be by Mosh about his Dad.

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  8. Priest,

    I hadn't even considered that... but should have. I wrote it in a few spare minutes I had this morning. I think it needs a little tweaking but it could certainly refer to Owen and Mosh's dad.

    Maybe I was channeling Rooster by Alice in Chains in that regard.

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  9. I was listening to Mastadon when I wrote this (think Blood Mountain and Colony of Birchmen) but thinking Enter the Sandman by Metallica. Tried to think what song would an orc get into. I think something that mixes a bit of medi-evil and modern.

    ----------------------------------------------

    pig pig pig pig pig pig pig pig
    PIGGY!

    the war drum bangs
    it fills my soul
    the call has come
    I take my sword & grab my shield
    where's my gun!?

    There's Monsters at the gate
    Valhalla bids me come

    Thats too bad, it's too late
    There's monsters at the gate
    A smile spread 'cross my face
    My blood quickens

    There's MONSTERS AT THE GATE
    BUT THE DEVILS INSIDE

    Bid them come
    We'll eat their flesh tonight
    HOLD THE PIG STEADY
    HOLD THE PIG STEADY
    I'm gonna take their lives tonight

    the gate explodes
    the beasts rush in
    womens screams fill the night air
    there's fire everywhere

    WHERE'S THE PIG!?
    Where's the beasts?
    They've no wyrm
    I'm still on my feet!

    HOLD THE PIG STEADY!
    HOLD THE PIG STEADY!

    The sheilds crash
    the rifles boom
    I'm gonna eat their souls tonight
    Hold the Pig Steady
    I've got my spear ready
    I'm the darkest monster here
    HOLD THE PIG STEADY!
    HOLD THE PIG STEADY!

    Their warm blood on my hands,
    and I enjoy it
    Hold the pig steady!
    here little monster
    time to laydown and die

    HOLD THE PIG STEADY!
    HOLD THE PIG STEADY!

    The war drums beat
    My heart races
    and his goes to sleep!
    HOLD THE PIG STEADY!
    HOLD THE PIG STEADY!

    Here little monster
    time to laydown and die!
    I'm gonna eat your heart tonight!

    HOLD THE PIG STEADY!

    I am man!
    I rule beasts
    your in my kingdom!
    Your under my feet!

    HOLD THE PIG STEADY!
    HOLD THE PIG STEADY!

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  10. OK, I have to say that the only one that made me absolutely howl with laughter from reading the lyrics was dantesfiringrange's entry. I like it, and I can REALLY see that on a YouTube video.

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  11. Stalking his prey
    Like a ghost
    The wolf he bays
    A great leader of a host

    Fighting the horde
    with shield & with sword
    The beast, it's mighty
    can be tamed with a word

    Chorus
    Hold the pig steady
    rend it assunder
    hold the pig steady
    lightning and thunder
    hold the pig
    hold the pig
    hold the pig ra ra ra

    Out of the storm rides a Valkyrie of light
    The honored dead will travel
    to partake of their servants this night

    The host will go on
    til the light of the dawn
    rejoicing in their lives giving to them this day, to Odin they give thanks and pray.

    (Chorus)

    The battle goes on
    through time and space
    but for the hero fallen
    the Father of all holds a special place

    Before the Halls of the Dead
    OF Glasir it is said
    It welcomes the new warrior with gold tinted red

    As the conflict rages on
    and the wise lead the new
    Remember the cry!
    Hold the pig steady!!
    We're counting on you

    (Chorus)

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  12. It's early in the morning and I forgot about probably the most famous of Norse myths, so I added to the chorus

    Chorus
    Hold the pig steady
    rend it assunder
    hold the pig steady
    Thor's hammer barks lightning and thunder
    hold the pig
    hold the pig
    hold the pig ra ra ra

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  13. Holy crap. At this rate we can just record a Hold the Pig Steady album. :D

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  14. I really like Ryan's version. I'm glad someone else thought of Pig in a different sense...

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  15. I recently came accross your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I dont know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.


    Susan

    http://disturbialyrics.net

    ReplyDelete
  16. For some reason I get an image of a pilot struggling with a battle damaged aircraft (helo maybe) and trying to stay in the fight. Holding the pig steady, as it were, to expend his last bit of ammo, or trying desperately to swing that nose around to get one last shot off at the enemy before he makes his real estate purchase.
    Eh, I was an airplane fixer for the Canoe Club, whaddaya expect.
    I guess this would also work for a tracked vehicle or a BFG even.
    Keeping in mind that Mosh Pitt would have heard all the war stories, but none of the monster ones.
    I have no musical acumen, otherwise I'd write the words.

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  17. I'm not completely satisfied with my M60 realted lyrics... need a bit of tweaking and reworking... especially to apply it to Owen and Mosh's dad and maybe expand the Vietnam theme just a bit. I'll see what I can do over the next few days, any suggestions are welcome.


    Thanks for the kind words to those that liked it. Some other great ideas here too. I'm glad i don't have to be the one to pick which one gets the honor of being produced. Too many good choices.

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  18. Hold the Pig Steady

    With Helicopter Lyrics At the Behest of Larry
    In hopes that it is not Doggerel (Because I can't tell the difference)Please imagine appropriate sound effect sprinkled throughout.

    Tracer, tracer burning bright
    Lightning bugs from hell this night
    Cobra gunship flying fast
    Running from a traitor's past
    Coming up on Charlie's ground
    Weapons hot, thunder sound
    Gunner hollers in the comm
    HOLD THE PIG STEADY

    It wasn't s'posed to be this way
    I'm just a child of '68
    Make love not war is what I said
    But daddy was a congressman
    Now brother's in the sky with Lucy
    Sister follows my old creed
    But here I am, don't give a damn
    Here I am in Vietnam.
    Fightin' for the pigs

    Flying down through hot Khe Sahn
    Pods are empty, fuel is gone
    I'l live to see another day
    But where the hell is Cindy Mae?
    There she is, but Queen of Hearts--
    Going down, going hard
    Reaching for the engine switch
    Twisting dervish, devil witch
    Holds me down, holds me tight
    Tunnel closing off the light
    Gunner hollers on the comm
    HOLD THE PIG STEADY

    [sound of turbines spinning out of control, crashing]

    Waking from a devil's dream
    Dizzy from what's never been
    Blurry eyes, Russian guns,
    Legs are broke, back's undone
    Charlie seems real glad to see
    GI Joe on his last leave
    Pull me from the broken glass
    Falling on the gentle grass
    Never hear the muzzle blast
    "Giu on dinh lon"
    [rifle shot]

    (The last line is "hold the pig steady" punched into a vietnamese translator...minus the dialect marks. Perhaps someone else can help with this?)

    Questions, comments and smart remarks are encouraged.

    If there are any historical inaccuracies I would like to know. This is not my area of expertise!

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  19. OK, so I'll give it a try after all.

    Carrier launch at night
    (Rockets! Red! Glare!)
    Going out to hunt tonight
    (Death! Takes! To the air!)
    Feet dry, the shoreline gleams
    (Charlie! Waiting! For us there!)
    Under these war machines

    Rolling in, the pickle's hot
    (Tracers fill the air!)
    Gonna give it our best shot
    (Fire everywhere!)
    Target up, almost ready
    (Ho Chi Minh Beware!)
    Shooter man says "Hold it steady!"

    *chorus*
    Hold the pig steady!
    (Doesn't know! What he asks!)
    Hold the pig steady!
    (Racing! Through! All the flak!)
    Hold the pig steady!
    (SAMs! Rising! From the ground!)
    Hold the pig steady!
    Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

    Life's blood leaking everywhere
    (Hold the pig steady!)
    Target's up, now we're there
    (Hold the pig steady!)
    Heat seeker starts to wail
    (Hold the pig steady!)
    Tweak it's tail, leaves the rail

    *chorus*

    Fighting, pulling, all my might
    (Bombs are all away!)
    Burning brightly in the night
    (Nothing more to do or say!)
    Falling, spinning, sky's so big
    (Gotta get away!)
    Wrestling with a crippled pig
    PIG! PIG! PIG!

    *chorus*

    (crashing sudden end)

    Gridley, you may laugh when ready.

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